(eclectic techno music) – Hi and welcome to Cock
Tales with Little Esther. I’m your host Little
Esther and my guest today is the beautiful and
talented Allison Becker. – Hi.
– Hi, welcome. – Thanks for having me.
– The safe word for today’s episode is poached eggs. – That’s a good one.
– What advice would you give to your teenage self?
– I probably want to tell myself that small boobs are dope. And I should be really happy with them. When you’re in your late
30’s they’re still up nice and high.
– Small boobs are fashionable right now.
– Yes. – But there was an era
where it was unacceptable but now it’s like, it’s
like also big thighs. – I feel like used to be.
– Yeah. – Bad and now they’re it’s all about that. – Yeah, rock those big thighs. – Yeah, that would be
mine, is your big thighs will come in handy later.
– Yeah. – (clicks) You know rappers and basketball players.
– You’d wink at yourself? – Yeah (laughs).
(clicks) What’s your favorite
role playing scenario? – I like to dominate.
– You like to dominate? – Yeah, are you surprised?
– Kind of. (laughs) – Some people I were with
just thought I was like wow you have a lot of like
demands but then I’m like oh what if I just own this?
– You go from being a needy bitch to like.
– Exactly. – A hot fetish.
– Exactly. I just was whipped for the first time have you ever done that?
– Whipped? – Yeah.
– By who like your dad?
– No (laughs). – Like as a punishment for
eating the cooking that you shouldn’t have had.
– See you want it.(laughs) (laughs) – I once heard a hot girl
say that she goes on 14 dates with a guy before they have sex. – Great.
– I have never gone .5 dates without it.
– But whatever your thing is that’s cool.
– .5 dates. – .5 dates maybe wait one whole date. – Yeah, well like a
half a date is just like when he comes over after
work ’cause his job is in your neighborhood. He can’t sleep over ’cause
he can’t find good parking, that’s a half date.
– That’s not a date at all.
– Are you sure? – Yeah.
– One time I was having sex with a guy and
I told him how hot he was and then he never responded.
– (laughs) What? – Yeah.
– That guys a jerk. – Yeah, I’ve never dating
guys over five 11 again. Now it’s time to play turn on, turn off. I’ll list a of different
qualities and you tell me whether they turn you on or off? – Great.
– Binge watching Gilmore Girls.
– Off. – The smell of a library.
– Turn on. – Yeah, one time a guy tell
me my mouth smelled like an antique book store but I
don’t think it turned him on. Ironed t-shirts.
– It’s bit much, off. – Yeah, I don’t even own an iron. – Get a steamer it’s 2016.
– Big feet. – On, cause it usually
means they have large hands. – Can play Free Falling
on an acoustic guitar. – On.
– See. – See is too much for you?
– Once they need to play the acoustic guitar for me I’m just like (laughs)
checked out. – No, I like it. – Weird. – If that’s the only song
they’re gonna play, then no. But if they can play the
acoustic guitar in general, it’s a turn on.
– It’s a time suck. (laughs)
I’m telling you. Knows sign language.
– Oh, on definitely. I know a little bit of sign language.
– Whoa somebody has a college degree. I’m gonna try to guess the name
of your first sexual partner in 10 seconds ready.
– Wait I have a question? – What?
– What does that mean? Do you mean the first time
I had vaginal intercourse? – Yeah.
– Or the okay. – That’s such a Catholic girl question it’s.
– Yeah. – Vagina.
– Okay, go. – Bill.
– No. – Robert.
– Yes! – Whoa!
– (laughs) That was crazy. (laughing) – Have you ever done Cosplay? – I’ve wanted to.
– Should we do it right now? – Oh, yeah, is it gonna be sexy? – Yeah.
– Let’s do it. I was picturing something different. – Same, I look like feline Elvis don’t I? Allison thank you so much
for coming on my show. I made you this gift.
– Thank you so much. Should I open it? – Yeah.
– Wow. – It’s edible underwear. – Pasta.
– Pasta and there’s some pepperoni.
– I don’t eat pork but I could give that to someone. – Well you can let someone eat it off you. – And then this is the bottom.
– Yeah, that’s a thong made of pizza bagels.
– When I get hungry I can just reach into my pants. – Exactly. – Thank you. (jazz music)