Exercise Counts More If It’s Hard

Exercise Counts More If It’s Hard


– [Narrator] We all wanna be healthy, but it seems like every diet and fitness regimen just
boils your life down to confusing, overly-scientific numbers. – Heart rate? Body mass? I’m a human being, not a spreadsheet. – [Narrator] Introducing Heartbrake, the world’s first fitness app that factors your emotional
life into your diet. – Normally my morning
jog burns 150 calories, but today I didn’t want
to go running so burn 500. – [Narrator] Heartbrake’s
emoji select screen takes your inner turmoil and translates it into the calories you
deserve to have burned. – I was super bummed when I found out my childhood
friend’s girlfriend’s dog might have cancer. So now, each of these curls counts for about a Big Mac’s worth of calories. Thanks, Heartbrake! – [Narrator] Heartbrake also knows which calories shouldn’t
count because come on. – My boss sent me a weird email. – [Narrator] Just input
that info on the app, and it will calculate what
feels like the gentler amount of calories. – Whoa, only three calories
for a whole bag of Chompsky’s. Sounds good to me. – 30 minutes of yoga is great
for my body and my schedule, and Heartbrake will double my time workout whenever I’m holding in a fart. (breathing) Which is always. (farting) Dammit. Uh. – [Narrator] Don’t worry. Doing yoga when you’re
embarrassed actually quadruples your time. – Two hours of yoga in 30 minutes. (laughing) I like that. (farting) – [Narrator] The app
has everything you need to give us a full picture of
your health and lifestyle. From night owls to early
birds, we’ve got you covered. Use our voice recognition software to cajole and wheedle the app down when it gives you an
unsatisfactory calorie total. – All right. I know I only did 13 jumping jacks, but honestly, dealing with
Jen and Sara’s breakup is taking up all my emotional bandwidth. I just started my period, and my shower’s water
pressure is suddenly like meh so frankly, it’s amazing I
even showed up here at all. (dinging) – [Narrator] Life’s ups
and downs shouldn’t count for nothing so why not download the app that literally won’t open on your phone from November 1 through February 15. – Looks like this pie is
going to have to go unlogged. Thanks, Heartbrake. Mmm. – [Narrator] From the makers of Screw-It!, the day planner for flakes and losers.