Honest Trailers: Titanic

Honest Trailers: Titanic


“Daddy, it’s a ship.” Titanic 3D! 3D so real, you can actually feel James Cameron
stealing money from your pocket. A film so bloated you can honestly just skip
the first half-hour… Don’t worry, there’s still like three
hours left to go! Based on the tragedy that spawned thousands
of heartbreaking true stories, comes this fake one. Jack is an unrealistically sexy peasant and Rose is a first-class suicidal pair of
boobs. Together, their undying love made James Cameron
filthy f***ing rich. Remember the romance that encouraged a generation
to round second base in the back of a movie theater. Remember the action, of the greatest game
of Human Plinko. Remember the excitement of PG-13 boobs now in James Cameron approved 3D! “It was the most erotic moment of my life.” So brace yourself for a whole new generation
of douchebags screaming “I’m the king of the world!” …and that stupid f***ing song that briefly
tricked you into thinking Celine Dion was hot. Good luck getting that out of your head! From the Academy Award winner for best editing
comes three and a half hours of establishing shots, rich people eating, and waving, more waving, and even more waving. Witness the eternal love that ends because
one piece of drift wood cannot hold two people. Seriously? That’s a huge piece of wood,
they could have both fit on it, or they could have at least just taken turns in the water. Is it just me or did he not have to die? Starring: Leonardo Da Vinci boobs the entire estate of Downton Abbey and Bill Pullman. Er.. .Paxton. Titanic 3D Spoiler Alert: They still drown. Together they will have the romance of a lifetime
expressed entirely in stares.