The ‘Wayans Bros.’ When Marlon Ruined His Life With Marijuana

The ‘Wayans Bros.’ When Marlon Ruined His Life With Marijuana


(airy piano music) – Shawn and Marlon are at a cool party with famous people. Marlon got Moesha’s autograph. Shawn and Marlon are
at a party with people. Rico Davinci arrives. Marlon says he loves his bad movies. Rico tells him to beat it, but his friend who also shops at the Big and Tall collar store says that’s the token
black guy from that sitcom. Rico loves that sitcom and
invites Marlon to the bathroom to smoke a little Shimmy Shimmy Yah. Shawn is badgering a pasty
producer who perks up when he mentions he reps the token black guy from that sitcom. Supercuts says he’s producing
the new Steven Bergman movie and there’s a perfect role for Marlon, but can Marlon handle it? Shawn says duh. Marlon comes out the bathroom smelling like Snoop
Dogg’s Xbox on Labor Day. Shawn scolds his brother for reeking of Ruth Buddha Ginsburg. Marlon says chill, he’s faking. It was all pass, no puff puff. Shawn says he better watch it. Smoking Trill Collins
can lead to other things, like waffles. Marlon dips to get waffles with Rico. Marlon wants to tell Shawn
all about the waffles, but he interrupts his thrilling tale to say he got him an
audition with Steven Bergman, even though Marlon almost blew it by having fun at that party. Shawn cautions it’s a short
walk from hotboxed lavatories to dull stories about waffles to smoking crack. Marlon says relax, he is
not ripping kush sticks. It’s just pretendy-wendy make believe. A wild kush stick appears. Shawn wants to know what the heck happened to pretendy-wendy make believe. Marlon says he only took the stone bone so his new friends would think he’s cool. Shawn says he does not want
Marlon hangin’ with Rico because he’s his 26 year-old baby brother, and he’s flushing this doobie
before it ruins his life. Marlon’s rehearsing outside
of Steven Bergman’s office when Rico walks by, fresh off his latest
blindfolded shopping spree. Marlon is nervous. Rico tells him to smoke a
jimjam, take the edge off. Marlon’s worried it will
mess with his process. Rico says it will make him more creative. He’ll be wrapping cold mac and cheese in slices of turkey at 2 a.m., this stuff is creativity cheat codes. Marlon laments his narc
brother flushed his illmatic. Rico says no worries, he keeps a freshie of Yo
Biden rolled in his pubes. Best of luck, my guy. Marlon shows up to the audition H-I-I-I-I-G-H, high as hell off that Diesel DeVito. Door drummin’, hair rufflin’ high. Let’s go to the Marlon Cam. Eeyyyo, that’s some good shit. The only acting he’s doing
is acting a damn fool. Running around, rolling around high. More Marlon cam. Ooh-wee. Marlon is singing into a
lamp like Nate Dogg-high. Where does Rico cop his fuzzy green nasty? But when Marlon shows his best impression of a person
skiing, not in the script, uh, something isn’t right. Then he gets spooked by a poster that’s looking right at him? Dear god. This is happening faster
than Shawn predicted. Marlon is already smoking crack. Mr. Coppertone attempts to get
Marlon to read his one line, but he simply cannot. He is lit past the point of no return, on what appears to be crack. And just when he’s about
to almost, maybe, act, he decides he’d rather try out for the role of Pookie in New Jack City, then spills jellybeans on the
floor and takes his shirt off, which would be fine if he was on mushrooms with friends in a cabin, but he’s high on crack with his potential future
boss in his office. The producer tells him to scram. Marlon grabs their tasty beans, deuces. Senor Sweater says drugs are a damn shame. First, they fired that pothead Rico. Now this high summabitch
stole their sweet beans. Marlon says he aced it. Shawn begs to differ. He did not get the part because he was cracked the fuck out. Marlon denies the allegations, then pulls a lifetime
supply of jelly beans up out his nut area. Marlon says he had jitters, so
he toked a little Lodi Dodi. Shawn says not only did he lose the part, now he’s got a bad reputation, just like Rico, who can’t get a job
because he stays blunted, and they don’t even need to drug test him, they just look at his shirts
and know what time it is. Marlon says this weed stuff is bad news. He is done smoking, forevs. Until 603 days from now,
when Scary Movie comes out and his character does nothing
but get high for 88 minutes. And it ends with a direct-to-camera PSA warning people not to mess with drugs, unless you want to launch a
horror film parody franchise that earns $900 million at the box office. So what did we learn today? Don’t get blazed before you
have to do anything important. Especially if you got the joint from someone you barely know, because it might be laced with crack. And a little kush won’t ruin
your life, but way too much will have you buying
ugly shirts in quantity. And only sketchy losers hide in bathrooms to smoke weed at parties. Because weed is for sharing, and you’re stinking up the john. And drugs are no laughing matter, just like Scary Movie 3 through 5. See you next time on
A Very Special Episode.